It’s impossible to comprehend that the life I have today is real
Back then, this life seemed unachievable
My mind was 💯 hijacked
My body was dying
I had no more fight in me. No hope
Most lost hope. I was too far gone
Simple, I was not going to get better. But …
Someone loved me too much
Loved me even with all my ugly
Refusing to let me go.
Never letting me go!
Hugging me, shaking me,
Trying to reach me
Looking into my blank eyes saying
“You have to fight Ola!
We have to try again”
Over and over and over again,
With no success. Untill ….
Sun July 19 2015 something happened
Noone knows what, I sure don’t
She did it, we did it and love won!
“She” is my sister, my Barb,
My guardian angel
She didn’t give up despite most did
WIth her Barb-like kindest
Unconditional love
She threw my ass back into treatment
Yet again
Wow – that was 7 years ago!
Doesn’t seem real, right?. And I do wonder sometimes?!? How? Why me and not others? Why this now but not before? What happened, what changed?
There is no single magical answer. And every person is different. Some things saved my life and other kept me alive. New perspectives taught me how to stay alive and diverse ones showed how to be alive. To me:
- family support is HUGE
- our kids deserve support, but they need us too – don’t take them away
- unconditional love is relentless and saves lives
- treatment/meds/therapy – MOST need something
- assess & treat ALL 3 – SUD, trauma, & MH
- community support & service – HEALS
- education, diversity, outreach, fun – there are many paths, find yours and have FUN
- preach compassion & forgiveness – we WERE always good but many don’t know that, so tell them!
And lastly …
Becoming the real me, the unapologetic unashamed me, the 100% authentic me, gave me life that is INSANELY AWESOME today and at last I am finally free.
