I was broken….
Started out just like most people with smoking pot, drinking etc. When I was 16, I had my son (who is now 15) and I had stopped everything I was doing for a while. I had a physically and mentally abusive boyfriend for 5 years and when I finally got away from him is when I got worse. I wanted to go out and “live my life”, live like everyone else had while I was home taking care of a child and missing out on life. I started getting into harder drugs. ecstasy, coke, pills.
It only got worse …
I got 2 DUIs before I was 21, started lashing out on my family for questioning me and soon we barely even spoke. When I was 24 a needle went into my arm for the first time and everything was over from there. From then on, I couldn’t stop, I had never felt “dope sick” before I never even knew what that was. After that I was a mess, I got myself in jail in NH, MA and CT, still didn’t stop me I would get right out and use again. My family cut me off, eventually I was homeless living out of my car. After my 3rd time in jail, my family wanted to get me out of NH, so I moved to CT to a sober house, stayed sober about 10months than I lost my husband to heroin overdose.He was my life …We got married young and we were married for 8 years before he passed. He was my middle school sweetheart, he was my first kiss even lol. Now even though we didn’t stay together after middle school but somehow, we got put back in each other’s lives for a reason. After his death, I was in and out of detox, rehab, etc for years to come.
It wasn’t until one day …
Something clicked for me and I was like “What the hell am I doing? I don’t want to be doing this!” I got myself into rehab once again in August 2017 and this year I celebrated 2 years free from my daemons. Today I have actual friends and I can be there for them, be reliable and dependable. I have a job I’ve had for over 2 years, I have my own apartment with 3 takes that rely on me to take care of them, I got to take a vacation this year which I never in my life have done!
Recovery is just beautiful! Even on my worst day sober is still always a better day than any day I was using!